Let’s Get Messy First…
Before we talk about Love Locks, I want you to do something, an exercise to help give you a reference point. I want you to think back to the last time that you felt awful. I mean truly awful about yourself.
Did you feel like a failure?
Did you feel like you weren’t good enough?
Did you feel like you were letting yourself, your kids, or your family down?
Hold up…I know. You thought that this blog was going to help you feel better and yet I’m seriously asking you to go back and relive the last time you felt like curling up in a hole and you hated yourself, you felt like a failure, or you felt like you weren’t good enough.
Let’s pause, seriously, take a few second and go back to that time. I’ll help you.
Go back to last time you were lying in bed wide awake at two in the morning and feeling hopeless.
Maybe you were mad at yourself?
Maybe you worried that you weren’t good enough?
Maybe you felt like a total failure that couldn’t ever get anything right?
Or maybe you spent hours that night just looking for every single one of your flaws or faults so that you could explain why everyone else is better than you are?
Do you have that scenario locked and loaded in your mind? Good! Now you’re ready to learn about Love Locks because you just remembered the last time you had a Love Lock attack.
You see, you’ve probably never heard of Love Locks. Or maybe you’ve seen my website or my social media pages and caught a glimpse of the word Love Locks. But you haven’t been formally introduced to your Love Locks. That means you have no idea that you have Love Locks, you use you Love Locks all of the time, and that your Love Locks are negatively impacting you whole life.
You just went back and relived the last time that you really engaged with your Love Locks. I’m sure that didn’t feel very good, did it?
The truth is that you’re bringing that kind of negative vibe into every moment of your life.
Those very Love Locks are keeping you locked away from the dreamy reality that you want and are trying to create.
They keep you locked away from the type of relationships that you’re trying to build.
But most of all, Love Locks, have caused you to step away from who you really are, your authentic self.
What is a Love Lock?
A negative belief about yourself that is impacting your how you perceive yourself, your reality, and your relationships.
The best way to understand Love Locks is to know what a Love Lock sounds like. Here are some of the most common Love Locks.
I’m not good enough.
I’m not ready.
I’m a failure.
I don’t deserve to be happy.
I’m not lovable.
I’m going to die alone.
I’m not valuable.
I’m too fat.
I’m too thin.
I hate this body part.
I’m not pretty.
I’m too old.
Recognize any of these statements?
You’re not alone. In February 2011, Glamour published a study that stated that 97% of women had at least one body hating thought about themselves every day. I remember reading that study and I wondered if those thoughts extended past just body image. Back in 2011, I was also studying the concept of self-love and how it related to women being able to achieve their goals. What I found was that these hateful statements also extended past body image into what women believed about themselves. It wasn’t just about how women looked but also how they felt they performed in their life, career, relationships, and their daily life.
In 2017, I began to ask women to take a brief survey about how they felt about themselves based on Love Locks. Hundreds of women completed the survey and the numbers agreed with Glamour’s study except these beliefs weren’t only about how a woman looked. My survey covered what a woman believed about herself. My results were shocking. 97% of the women that took the survey had Love Locks. The severity of the Love Locks were also examined. Here’s the breakdown:
3% of the women didn’t have Love Locks.
10% of the women had mild Love Locks.
40% of the women had moderate Love Locks.
47% of the women had major Love Locks.
That means that ninety-seven women out of hundred are in some form of mental pain because of what they believe about themselves. Ninety-seven percent of women were dealing with the crippling impacts of Love Locks. Ninety-seven percent of women are being their Authentic Self.
When I say authentic self, I mean who you are the core of your being. Your Authentic Self is your values, morals, your positive beliefs, and your greater purpose for being on this planet. Your Authentic Self is pure positivity. Your Authentic Self is wisdom, kindness, and is eager to experience new things. Your Authentic Self helps you decide how to be of service to others, what life experiences you want to have, and helps you align the core of yourself with your actions. Your Authentic Self is who you really are.
Your Authentic Self is not what your job title is or how you spend most of day, like being a mom. Your Authentic Self doesn’t having anything to do with how you look, how much money you make, or how you make your money. Your Authentic Self didn’t create your Love Lock. Negative emotions, for example fear, scarcity, or revenge don’t reside within your authentic self, all of the things are a result of your conditioned self.
What is your conditioned self? Your Conditioned Self is who the world told you to be.
What do you think?
Is it time to get back in touch with your authentic self?