The holidays are almost upon us and we’re supposed to be a happy. We’re spending time with people we love, upholding family traditions, and drinking eggnog.
Nothing makes us happier than spending time with the people we love. Right?
They are family and they love us. Right?
Except…We all know what’s coming.
All the questions that seem so innocent but somehow manage to cut us to the bone.
Grandma hugs you and then pops the question “We didn’t get divorced in my day. How’d you let that happen?”
Mom hands you a beautiful present and then asks “When are you going to have children?”
Your cousin flashes her new wedding ring and then says with a smirk “Why are you still single?”
Who knows what’s going to fall out of these people’s mouth.
You showed up to see everyone and soak in all the holiday cheer. The next thing you know you’re running a gauntlet of emotional pain while the whole family munches on turkey.
Here are three ways that you can deal with the hard questions and not go emotionally broke over the Thanksgiving table.
- You know your family.
You know what kind of questions they’ll ask you. Understand that their questions are actually more about them and what they want than about you. Don’t internalize these questions. Get out of answering the question by asking a question. Before you attend the event, spend some time thinking about what they might ask and then rehearse your answer. Make sure that you turn their question back over to them.
Example: Why are you still single?
Answer: I’m looking for a relationship like yours. Can you remind me how you met grandpa?
- Avoid, Avoid. Avoid.
It’s always okay to not answer someone’s question. It’s your business. Smile nicely and say “I love you and thanks for caring about me.”
- Finally…Just say no.
If you’re cornered, just say no. Example: When are you going to get married? Answer: “Mom, no. I love you and you make the best pumpkin pie but this is not a discussion for Christmas.”
Final Bonus Tip:
Don’t allow yourself to tie your worth, happiness, or confidence to these kind of questions. If you get asked questions that pinch because they’re your pain points, take a moment to breathe. Don’t get upset, or don’t get defensive. Simply answer with a smile and say “maybe Santa will bring us a present this year.”