Let’s talk about happiness.

Truthfully, being happy is our motivation for everything that we do. The only reason we doing anything is because we believe we’ll increase our happiness.

Want some examples?

Moving to a new home – We believe a new place will make us happier because it has something that we don’t already have. For example, the new home has more space and it’s newer.  It offers “better” schools.  The commute to work easier or less expensive.

Career promotion – We believe that the new job title along with a higher salary will bring us more opportunity happiness.

Getting married – We believe that this person will help us create a life that will abound in love and joy.

Going to work – We know that if we don’t go to work, we’ll lose everything that we own and that will make us unhappy. Even if we hate our job, we still do it because going to work is better than being without a roof over our head.

The list goes on.  Even a simple pint of Ben and Jerry’s along with being curled up on the couch watching Netflix offers the chance for a happy evening.

What do think every single one of my clients say that they want when we first talk?

They all say they want to be happy.

What exactly is happiness?

Happiness is the feeling of wellbeing and contentment.

If follows, then, that happiness is created by thinking thoughts and doing activities that add to your wellbeing and contentment.

Simple, right? It’s not hard to find things that make you happy. But, here’s a warning. While you’re looking for happiness, don’t unwittingly make a few missteps.

Here are seven common bad habits that will absolutely destroy your happiness…

1.Avoid Negative Thinking.

Being happy starts with the way that you choose to think about life.  Be mindful of thoughts because they create feelings. Notice your thoughts. When thoughts create gloom, don’t allow yourself to think them.

2.Refuse Doubt.

Doubting yourself creates chaos and confusion, which are the breeding ground for unhappiness. Don’t waste energy and time on self-doubt.  Instead, invest time and energy into activities that help gain knowledge and further skills that enable you to be sure of yourself.

3.Don’t live in the past or in the future.

Waiting for a certain event or achievement in order to be happy never works. The past is frozen and the future doesn’t exist.  The power is in the present.  If you don’t feel happy now, you will never be happy.  Every day has its happiness when you make the effort to see it.

4.No people pleasing.

Learn to say “no” without worrying. It’s important to love and serve others without sacrificing ourselves in the process.

5.Stop judging.

Don’t criticize harshly—not your own self and not others.  Everyone is doing the best that they can.  Accept that everyone has flaws. By acknowledging that fact, it’s easier to be happy.

6.Don’t fear failure.

There’s no such thing as failure. Trying is success.  Learning and growing is success. Understanding what success truly is creates happiness.

7.Don’t belittle.

Negative talk about yourself or others produces misery. It’s not motivational and will not help. Make it a priority to monitor and regulate the words you think and say.

The big secret that happy people know is that by doing these seven bad habits they are creating nonsense and misery.

Happy people don’t do nonsense.

Happy people aren’t just lucky. They haven’t figured it all out or achieved everything they set out to do.

They are people who have learned that happiness is a skill just like reading, painting, or baking. They have honed their happy skill by rejecting bad habits.  And they keep working at their happy skill. It’s a lifetime pursuit.

Happiness is a daily, moment-to-moment practice of good habits to maintain good vibes. Remember the Seven Don’ts to keep a smile in your thoughts and on your face.