This past weekend was a chaotic muddle of thunderstorms, power outages, my 50-year-old house needing plumbing care, and my three year old obsessing about finding Nemo (literally finding her Nemo toy). Plus, there was getting work done, taking care of pets and people, tending to daily tasks, and maintaining some semblance order.
I started thinking about the concept of “having it all.” What a great idea. It always sounds awesome, but is it really possible?
After much soul searching, I realized that IF you’re lucky and IF life doesn’t hand you any curve balls, it might be achievable. But what if life tossed out a few speed bumps on the road to having it all, such as divorce, injuries, financial mishaps, or one of a zillion varieties of disaster?
Then I thought about limits and how that might effect “having it all.”
We all have limits.
We’re limited by time…there’s only 24 hours in a day. ⠀
We’re limited by our age at times. ⠀
We’re limited by our available resources.⠀
We’re limited by our emotional capabilities. ⠀
We’re limited by our responsibilities. ⠀
We’re limited by our physical capabilities. ⠀
By the end of the weekend, I know I sure had reached my limit! I absolutely couldn’t do another thing or think another thought. The best I could manage was to curl up in bed, read, and sleep.
I realized that limits impact what you want and what can do right now. These two concepts are really different from each other even though they can sound like the same thing at times. Sometimes limitations impact what you want.
While you can modify, stretch limits, or potentially change limits, you’re not going to transform them instantly. Biting off more than you can chew or expecting more of yourself than what you can deliver is a sure fire way to create emotional turbulence and chaos. When you do that you create feelings of failure which leads to proof of failure which leads to giving up. And that equals FAILURE, pure and simple. The negative experience of failing creates Love Locks (toxic, false beliefs about yourself).
What I realized is that understanding that you have limits allows you to be realistic about what you can really do. Actually, knowing and working with your limits gives you a way to succeed. Your limits are like a challenge that prompts you to craft ways to adapt your personal version of having it all. It takes time, a lot of time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and your Euphoric Life can’t be created in a day either.
Having it all is realistic.
The idea of having it all isn’t really about keeping up with Joneses or a cookie cutter life, it’s about creating your own model of a happy life, and having it all might not mean having it all at one time.
Maybe the journey is part of the destination, and the limits that you have right now are part of your journey.
Here are seven tips to help you create your version of having it all.
- Don’t compare yourself to others because they have different limits and different life experiences. So what if you do your life differently? The creation of dreams and goals isn’t a one-size fits all effort. There’s no easy method. It’s the culmination of your experiences that has caused you to create your dreams and goals, and it’s your experience that’ll allow you to achieve your goal.
- You aren’t behind, and you don’t have to catch up. You set your own pace. So what if it takes you longer? Don’t give up and it’ll happen! ⠀
- Stop thinking others are better than you or that you aren’t good enough. So what if you don’t know how to do it or you need to gain some skills? You can learn and you can do it! ⠀
- Get clarity. Take the time to examine your life. Do you know what your ideal life really looks like? Sure, we’d all love to have millions of dollars, and do meaningful stuff with our time. However, if you don’t have millions of dollars right now, you’ve missed a few steps. Maybe it’s time to get clarity about what you want your life to be. Not knowing what you want is a sure fire way to feel stuck.
- Fighting your limitations or wishing you didn’t have them is a waste of time and energy. Instead, turn those thoughts into ways to work toward having it all.
- Embrace progress over perfection. Anytime you take a step toward your vision of having it all, celebrate. Don’t get bogged down by how far you still have to go or get upset because you aren’t there yet. Learn to praise yourself for trying and not giving up.
- Learn to Kiss the Baby Daily. This stands for Keep It Simple Sweetheart and take baby steps every day. Consistency is the key to creating your dream life. Work, do, and plan for it every day. Your perfect life will never be delivered by Amazon with free two-day shipping. Only YOU can deliver it
You can have it all. Maybe not in this moment or even the next, but you can have it. Don’t give up. Don’t get discouraged. As long as you’re still playing the game of life, anything can happen!
Want to go dive deeper?
Get some clarity with the Defining Your Ideal Life Worksheet. In less than 30 minutes you can start living your ideal life!