Here’s how to get rid of the “I’m Too_____”.
You have a nasty voice inside your head. Let’s call her the mean girl. Most of us have one, too. Her only job is to stop you from living a fantastic life. That’s it. She serves no other purpose. She can take the form of a perfect image of yourself, another person, or even a scary monster.
She spends her entire day and night whispering or yelling horrible things at you.
“You aren’t pretty enough.”
“You don’t have what it takes to own a business. “
“People don’t like you.”
“You can’t do that.”
Let’s look at what the mean girl does and how she prevents you from living your dreams. She knows you better than you know yourself at times. She works mainly with three areas. She’s mean, she’s scary, and she loves chaos.
She bullies you just like any schoolyard bully. She will yell at you, insult you, and put on a big show for you. She knows this will stop you a lot of the time. Easy win for her.
If berating you didn’t work, then she moves on to fear. She becomes the monster under the bed. She will scare you so that you don’t take action. Again another easy win.
Then if insults and fear didn’t work, she moves on to chaos. She pollutes your brain with indecision. If you can’t make a decision, you can’t move forward. She wins AGAIN!
So why does she not want you to take action and achieve your goals. That’s simple. She doesn’t want change. She has a nice little nest and it’s comfortable. It doesn’t matter if you are uncomfortable or need to change. Her survival is dependent on you staying the same.
Anytime you want to upgrade your life she will make herself known even louder. If you want to test this theory, think of one thing that you really want to do or change right now. Now sit there quietly. First you will feel excited about this new idea. Wait for it. Any second now, she will pop up and start telling why you can’t, how you are unable to do it, or how inadequate you really are.
She’s fun, isn’t she?
So let’s get clear.
She is a liar!
She isn’t real!
You can stop paying attention to her. Evict her!
Let me introduce you to The Committee. The Committee is your personality and how everything in your world is filtered. Let’s meet them. Understand how the mean girl will try to get each committee member on her side as well.
The Judge cares about justice, fairness, and doing the right thing. Example thought of the Judge: How will the people in my life be impacted by my decision?
When the mean girl has infected the Judge, the judge will be very harsh and looking to punish you.
The Believer is the personality that creates your dreams. Example thought of the Believer: How can I make the lives of the people in my life better?
When the mean girl has infected the Believer, the Believer will make you believe that people are better without you or that you cannot improve.
The Child is innocent and looking to have fun. Example thought of the Child: I trust my people and how can I have more fun with them?
When the mean girl has infected the Child: temper tantrums for no reason.
The Rebel is all about rebelling against social norms or family norms.
When the mean girl has infected the Rebel, unhealthy addictions start.
The Romantic is the personality that likes life to be pretty. She is the one that will buy flowers for herself and make her environment enchanting.
When the mean girl has infected the Romantic, the Romantic gives up creating beauty because you don’t deserve it.
The Sceptic is the part of the personality that looks at things with a critical eye and is very much needed to help protect you.
However, the mean girl loves the Sceptic and Ms. Together. They are the easiest for her to infect and the hardest personalities to know if infection has happened. When the Sceptic is infected there is nothing that you can do that will work to make anything better.
Ms. Together is the personality that likes things to be neat, finished, and done to the best of your ability. She is a work horse and loves to get things done. When she is infected by the mean girl, you will see the perfectionist and the control freak pop up. Ms. Together will be extremely critical of you.
The mean girl desperately wants to be on the Committee but she is not a real personality and brings nothing positive to you. So she is not allowed to sit at the table. Understanding that you have many parts to your personality and that the mean girl will try to attach herself to these parts is step one in getting rid of her. If your Committee seems mean and harsh. It has been infected.
Step two in getting rid of the mean girl is to really start paying attention to your thoughts. If a thought doesn’t feel good, pay attention to it. Explore it. Is the thought fact or has it been filtered incorrectly. Start by writing down the thought. Then decide if the thought is true, a belief, or a fear.
Thought: I am not smart enough.
Start working with the thought.
Is it true? Do you really believe that? Are you afraid that you can’t learn a new skill?
No, I can learn new things. In fact, I learn new things every day.
Do I really believe that I am not smart? Do have any actual facts that I can’t use my brain?
No, I know I am smart enough. I can’t actually find any facts except maybe algebra that I can’t learn.
Am I afraid that I will fail? Is this fear real? (Real like there is a gigantic, green furry monster standing in front of you at this time?) Is my imagination running in the wrong direction creating fear instead of success?
I might fail but so did Thomas Edison. There are no monsters here. I let my imagination misbehave.
Conclusion: I am smart enough. You won! Mean girl lost!
Keep doing this process over and over and eventually the mean girl will get bored and disappear. She’ll test you every now and again but you will win every time when you slow down and explore your thoughts.
Take The Oath…
Become A Flame