I can give you all kinds of fluffy reasons why you should care about self-love but I’m not going to. Why?  Because self-love is a critical skill in healing from a lost love.   I know that most women are horrible at before they have to rebuild a life.  After you have lost your relationship, you have no self-love.  The problem is that you didn’t learn this much needed skill. In fact, everything you encounter in life is designed to teach you the opposite of self-love.


I know you actually think you have self-love, don’t you?  Admit it. I’ll wait patiently for your answer…


Done waiting, you’re going to tell me that you already do lots of stuff for yourself.  Let me guess. You think that if you give yourself cute little manis and pedis that you love yourself.  If you take time for yourself to read, exercise, learn a new hobby, and treat yourself to a little present at the mall now and then that you love yourself. Listen to me.  It’s awesome that you do those things but that’s not self-love, that’s self-care.


Let’s define self-love, dictionary version: regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic)

Nice definition but let’s talk about what self-love truly means. Self-love means that you practice self-compassion and you’re happy with yourself no matter what’s going on in life (which includes your weight, your finances, how tall you are, the text that never came, or any other perceived flaw). Easier said than done, right? Remember that we’re talking about a skill that you have to learn. Doesn’t mean it’s easy.


Sunshine, it’s time to start learning how to win at this game of life.   “Win what?” you ask.  How about money, time and love?  The faster, quicker you learn to love yourself, the faster you’ll find yourself sunning at the pool, basking on that beach you dream about, or even out on a date.  Self-love is the fundamental cornerstone to a freaking amazing life!


Still don’t see how self-love will bring you more time and money?


Time is definitely something that you want more of, more quality and more quantity.  Self-love contributes to both.  Without self-love, you’re constantly judging and measuring yourself. It won’t take anything to knock you off your pedestal. You gained weight. You said something that was awkward or embarrassed yourself. You failed at something. You have a flaw.  You’ll go right to self-hatred and beat the crap out of yourself.

Not having the self-love skill reduces our time threefold.

  1. We waste an incredible amount of time locked in negative thoughts when we could be investing that time in thoughts and activities that would move us forward in all areas of life. Quality time.
  2. When we’re constantly belittling ourselves and undermining our self-confidence, we limit the actions that we take. For instance, striving for a promotion, saying “hi” to that cute love interest, or starting our own business. Again, quality time.
  3. The strong negative feelings that we produce while we’re in a self-hating phase also changes our physical health and well-being. Now we’re dealing with the quantity of time as well.


Let’s talk about money and love. I mentioned that without the skill of self-love we’re locked in a battle of negative thoughts. You can’t be thinking negative things and attract positive things. From a money and love stand point, this battle is costing you money and love in the form of opportunity costs. The term opportunity costs is used regularly in economics. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, here’s the basic definition: opportunity cost refers to a benefit that a person could have received, but gave up to take another course of action. Restated, you’re too busy beating yourself up to look for and engage in activities that will help you advance in your financial health and relationship status. How many thousands of dollars do you think you have given up because you’re lacking one skill? How many dates did you miss out on?


Self-love is one skill that will unlock more time, more money, and love for women.  Learning this skill is an investment in health and wealth.




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