The Rules! The Games! Strategies to landing your perfect partner.
As a love coach, I spend a fair amount of time talking with women about how to act when they are first meeting a new partner. What is okay and what is not okay? How and when they should communicate? What did the new person mean by this or that? Is there a strategy that will help women get and keep a new partner?
The questions and concerns are endless. I understand why this happens. You can be the most secure woman but faced with your heart’s desire to find a partner, you turn into a sixteen-year-old girl. We place a lot of value on having a relationship. While being single is fabulous and there are a lot of benefits, there are also a lot of benefits to having a partner. When we first met someone new, it can feel like we are playing high stakes poker and the pot is huge. We also feel like we could break the bank!
On top of our own desires and fears, there are literally hundreds of authors teaching the “rules” to successful dating and how to act. If you follow their system, you will find and keep a partner. These type of systems feed your insecurities and make you even more confused. These authors might have some great advice but I’m a firm believer in authenticity and honoring yourself. Follow your own heart!
If you are modifying who you are and how you act to attract a partner, you are playing a game!
Let me ask you some questions.
Do you really want to change who you are to appeal to another person?
When will you introduce the person to the real you? How do you think that will go over?
Do you really want to be involved with a person that plays games?
Do you want to be a person that plays games?
Do you want to be with someone that doesn’t know the real you?
What about the things you need in a relationship (communication preferences, affection, and trust)?
Do you really want to be with someone that will leave you if you make one wrong move or send a text at the wrong time?
If you start out this way, how do you think you will act when bigger issues come up?
How do you trust someone that you know plays games?
How long do you think a relationship will last if you have not shown the person your authentic self? What if they haven’t shown you their authentic self? Did either of you really know the other?
There are a lot of emotions swirling around at the start of a relationship. You need to be paying attention and evaluating a new partner. You need to be watching their actions. You need to take their words at face value. Don’t make the relationship into a fairytale. For heaven sakes, stop worrying about when to text or call.
Here is my advice:
You are perfect for someone. This one might not be the one.
Be yourself. Act the way you want to act.
Text when you want to text. Honor your needs.
Let them see who you really are. Be authentic.
Make sure your needs are getting met. Don’t change to please this person.
Don’t fall in love with a warm body or potential. Believe them when they tell you who they are.
Play fair. Be yourself.
Knock off the games!
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