I have a 17 month old and every day she amazes me. Sure, I am a proud mommy but let’s set that aside for now. What amazes me most about her is her attitude toward attaining her goals. Kids come into this world with the ability to go after what they want and they achieve those wants. This seems to be a quality that we as adults sometimes forget how to do.
Here is what my munchkin has made clear to me about building a new life.
Toddlers live in the now. She does not care about what happened yesterday or what might happen in 5 minutes. Now is all that counts. For her, this second is what matters, there is no waiting for a better time. The lesson here is live in the moment. Which means try not to look back at the past, it’s gone. The future isn’t certain yet, so you really have no idea what is going to happen.
Toddlers give everything they have to attain their goal. She works endlessly to achieve whatever she wants. She will keep looking for ways to get results. Sure, I may want her to go to sleep but if that’s not her goal she finds ways to not go to sleep. She will approach that goal from every angle she can think of, every trick she has, and will not give up until sleep is her new goal. So when you are building your new life, are you doing everything you can? Are you looking for all the ways you might create your ideal life?
Toddlers do not care what anyone thinks of them. My girl could care less if what I want is the same thing she wants. She doesn’t ask my opinion about what she should do. She just does it. You don’t need friends, family, or anyone else to tell us how long healing should last or what rebuilding is for you. You know own your own mind and desires. Ask for support, not opinions.
Toddlers have strong feelings but move on quickly. My girl can throw a fit. I mean every part of her is committed to that fit. She also commits to being happy, sleepy, cute, or grumpy. She commits body, mind, and soul to whatever mood she is in. Remember she lives in the now. I know your emotions sometimes get away from you. You think that you have to always be happy or that you will always be sad. This isn’t the case. Building a new life is hard! Go with the flow of your own feelings. Allow yourself to feel what you feel and move on.
Toddlers have no fear of failure. This one is something that I really struggle with. Somewhere I learned to look at the worst case scenario and plan for that… but my plan didn’t include the loss of my marriage. My girl is totally the opposite, she plans for success. She’s convinced that if she tries, she’ll succeed. She’s learning to walk right now. She falls down more than she walks. She doesn’t fear the fall because she know the walking is worth all the bumps. She has no fear of failure. Success is too sweet to let fear prevent her from achieving goal. Now, if it were me, I would probably plan for failure and put all kinds of protective gear on, research how not to fall, and spend a ton of energy figuring out how not to fall. When you are rebuilding your new stop looking for the failure and look for ways to succeed.
So here’s to building like a toddler! Live in the now, be fearless, care not what anyone thinks of you, let your feelings just be your feelings, and give your goals everything you’ve got!
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